


I'm here, Sora

by ll4nce



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Asphyxiation, Dysfunctional Relationships, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Multi, Murder, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 17:44:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20604776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ll4nce/pseuds/ll4nce
Summary: Ven's sudden death shocked everyone to their core.Sora was sure everyone but him went mad.





	I'm here, Sora

**Author's Note:**

> Update October 6th: It has been brought to my attention that this story has more impact when reading it second. When looking over my works I sort of agreed, so this one is now part 2.
> 
> me: I'm in this new fandom, time to write something cute and fluffy  
also me: THIS

It was a small party. No, party wasn't even the right word. It was a get-together. Sora only remembered blurry bits and pieces, but he remembered talking to Riku and Kairi, feeling like a third wheel with them, texting a bit with his older brother who couldn't make it. He didn't even remember what Lea, Isa, Xion, Naminé, Terra or Aqua were doing or if he had interacted with them in any way. Maybe it had been the alcohol Lea got for them. Despite him being 17 years old and with that too young for most of the drinks, he took a sip and simply didn't stop, a little scared he would look uncool in front of his friends. Riku later told him he was very clingy while drunk, but when Sora tried to remember, he drew a complete blank. But even the things that happened before he got drunk were blurry to him, suggesting it was probably not the alcohol.

There was one event clearly burned into his mind however, and it didn't matter how much he tried. He didn't remember when exactly it happened, or what he was doing before Roxas came bursting in from the balcony, hair messy and eyes wide, shaking like a leaf in the wind. Sora remembered exactly how everyone had stopped what they were doing before and stared at the blond, the silence deafening. And then, Roxas had opened his mouth and spoke with a trembling voice.

"Someone, someone help! Ven… Ven, he jumped! He jumped down from the balcony!" 

The silence following after was almost crushing. All one could hear was Roxas's ragged breath. And for some reason, Sora supposed that was for him only, a rustling in his ear that became louder and louder the more seconds passed.

It felt like an eternity before Lea jumped up with a "shit" and fumbled his phone out, and suddenly it was like a spell had been broken. Everyone began talking, screaming, panicking. Sora's head spun, the sentence "but Lea's apartment is on the 12th floor" repeating in his mind endlessly.

Again, it got blurry afterward. Not only the rest of the day but the next few weeks as well. The ambulance noises, Ventus's funeral, crying together with Riku and Kairi, watching Naminé draw something in deep blue and talking with Aqua about loss and more he couldn't even remember, it felt like it all happened on the same day and at the same time like years laid between them. He had gone on with his life on autopilot until one day when he looked at a picture of him, Vanitas, Ventus, and Roxas smiling together it finally hit him. Ven was dead. Ven jumped off a balcony on the 12th floor. Ven killed himself. He'll never see Ven smile or laugh ever again. He broke down on the spot. He cried and cried nearly for an entire day. He just couldn't understand why. Why Ventus did such a thing.

Seeing the world more clearly afterward was painful. He could see Aqua's eyes, which stared into nothingness whenever they saw each other. He felt the hatred and resentment behind Terra's words when he spoke, but resentment or anger towards what, Sora didn't know. He felt Riku and Kairi's awkwardness around the topic, as they did not know Ven as well as he did. He knew Lea, Isa, Naminé and Xion's pain as they tried to talk to Roxas, who was still in a daze. He was the one it hit the hardest. He barely talked or reacted to anything, only his eyes flicking back and forth as if looking for someone. Losing his twin had morphed their friend into a stone statue who sat on his bed the entire day until his parents tucked him in at night.

The twins' parents had always been distant, but now, they were even further away, further than any could hope to reach. Whenever they saw Lea, or Isa, or Xion, who wanted to meet Roxas and talk to him, they were sent away with a snarl and lips curled in disgust. It was awful for the friends, but Sora supposed they were blaming them for Ventus's death - he didn't say he'd agree with their way of seeing things, but he understood where they were coming from. He himself had thought about it countless times. What if they hadn't been drinking? Would they have been able to do anything if sober? Would they have noticed something wrong on the balcony?

Sora had agonized countless of nights over it but still hadn't found an answer. He simply couldn't have known. It pained him to admit but he had never even noticed Ventus feeling that way ever. All of their interactions, all of the laughing, the joking, the smiling - Sora now questioned all of them, questioning if Ven was truly laughing or just faking. He'd never know now and it ripped his heart apart.

Going back to school, many teachers were merciful to him and his friend group. News of Ven's suicide spread like a wildfire in the school, everyone whispering about it. Sora had burst into tears once when he heard what they were saying about Ven and Riku had been close to sock that guy for him while Kairi comforted him.

Just like any gossip in school, the talk about Ven died down in about a month, flooding Sora with slight relief. He hated how everyone talked about it like Ven was just a character from a show that had died or anything like that. Those people had no idea what it meant to lose someone close to you.

It took about another week until Roxas came back to school. Sora was stunned - he thought Roxas would either leave school and get homeschooled or switch schools, but on Monday, two and a half months after Ven's death, Roxas stood beside him at the school gates, familiar smile in his face.

It was weird to say at least - Roxas acted like nothing had ever happened. He laughed and smiled a lot. He was almost too cheerful, more cheerful than Sora had ever seen Roxas. It was unsettling. 

But the friends thought better than to point it out and we're just glad to have Roxas back. It was weird, going back to their usual routine but without Ven. It always felt like someone was missing, at least to Sora. If Roxas felt like this as well, he didn't show. And even though Sora was paying extra attention to details to see if Roxas was faking his newfound happiness, yet he noticed no indications for that. Roxas looked… genuinely happy. Sora wondered if Ven's death didn't quite catch up with him yet, or if he was denial or anything like that. Asking Roxas outright seemed to be the wrong course of action, so he kept it to himself. He didn't know how to broach the subject with his other friends as well.

He kept to himself and didn't say anything. Quickly, he fell into a routine as his other friends did as well. Sometimes, there were days where something was missing and Sora's heart ached. It was such a day when Sora sat with his friend group during lunch in school. Kairi and Riku flanking his left and right and Roxas between Xion and Naminé across of him, he couldn't help but feeling something wasn't right. 

"Maybe we should visit it sometimes," Roxas said, looking thoughtful. Xion's eyes widened.

"You're kidding! Maybe? We have to visit! You used to love ice cream, how can you say no to this?" Sora tensed, not even knowing why. He supposed he was scared of the comment somehow triggering Roxas - it had happened before. If it happened Roxas would scream and cry and wail and abruptly going completely still, turning back into the stone statue everyone feared for days, sometimes even weeks before he came back, once again acting like nothing had ever happened. It was unsettling to Sora, but if the other minded, they did not show.

"Maybe I'm growing out of it," Roxas said while Sora's mind was racing. It shook the brunette to his core once again. Somehow, that statement sounded so wrong to his ears. Roxas, growing sick of ice cream? 

"Huh. If you say so." None of the friends pushed. Sora didn't know if the others felt like he did, but he was scared of setting him off. 

That's why he barely listened as they struck another topic, this time, talking about school and their upcoming graduation. They threaded carefully, trying to avoid Roxas's twin brother. Ventus could never graduate. Not anymore.

Roxas laughed. Why, Sora couldn't tell with all of his spacing out. He laughed wholeheartedly, even throwing his head back, hands doing nothing to conceal the big smile on his face- wrong.

He leaned over to Xion, his eyes shining with excitement, whispering something against her ear, which made her giggle- wrong, wrong.

Naminé shoved him and he shoved her back with a grin when she demanded to know what he had told Xion. It escalated in a playful fight in which they shoved each other back and forth - laughing all the while- wrong, wrong.

Roxas eating a bit of his lunch, using his fingers to fix his hair to the side again- wrong, wrong, wrong, WRONG!

Abruptly, Sora stood up. He slammed his hands on the table so hard, everything shook and clattered loudly. Whatever they were talking about, whatever they were eating or doing, they stopped. All eyes were on him, not only the ones' from his friends but everyone in the cafeteria stared at him.

After a few seconds of silence where the only sound was Sora's ragged breathing, Roxas slowly, as if not to scare the other, reached his hand out to touch Sora's. "Are you okay?" He whispered with a soft voice and Sora looked at his face. His eyebrows were furrowed in worry, his lips slightly parted. His eyes were shining - as if he was close to tears - it looked so wrong, _Roxas wouldn't cry because he was worried he'd punch me in the arm and tell me to get over myself and spill what's going on_ \- "Don't touch me!" Sora shouted and Roxas flinched back, hurt clearly shown in his expression.

The entire room was so silent, one could hear a pin drop. It was too much. Sora ran.

No one followed him.

\---

The next few days, he was able to convince his mother he felt sick and stayed home. It wasn't technically a lie, but he still felt bad. He still doesn't know what was going on with him that day and why he was feeling so disturbed by Roxas's actions - it didn't make any sense to him now. Grabbing his phone, he looked through his chats and tried to find the one with Roxas, so he could ask him if he was free. He wanted to talk and apologize.

His finger stopped when he hovered the not deleted chat with Ventus however.

_Hey, we're in front of the door and Lea is not responding, can you let us in?_

_On my way!_

The message was innocent enough. To think that this was the last message Ventus would ever send to him…

Sniffing, he scrolled up a bit and looked through his messages with his deceased friend.

_I think I need some help with math, pls Ven PLS_  
_i'm DESPERATE I DON'T UNDERSTAND A THING  
HELPPP_

_Alright, Roxas and I'll be over in a bit. We'll make it happen, dw Sora!_

_Do you think Vanitas knows it was me_

_I dunno but I think he liked it_

_Really? Oh thank God_

_You should talk to himmmm!!!_

_You make it sound so easy  
What if he doesn't like me and it'll be awkward every time we hang out together_

_But what if he likes you backkk?_

_… You should focus on getting things with Riku in order yourself_

_OMG ven you can't do me like this_

_But I just did_

_…_

_Riku does not like me the way I like him._

_Oh no _  
_Sora let's meet up and talk about it, ok?  
I'll be over in a bit_

_Ok… thanks_

_Hehe I told you!  
Ven?_

_Fuck you_

_I love you too big brother!_

_Is Vani still at your place?_

_Don't mention that bastards name_

_Did you fight again  
Ven?_

_Sora_  
_Sora  
Wake up Vani_

_Why…? I don't want to wake up the boar that is my brother…_

_HES LATE  
FOR OUR DATE_

_OH  
I'll see if I get him out…_

_Pls let me copy your math homework_

_sIGH_

_PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS _

_Sora, you need to be able to do it on your own in the test_

_Pls…._

_Urgh fine. But don't come crying if you fail the test!_

_Sora, are you okay?_  
_I'm coming over._  
_Open the door_  
_Sora_  
_I'll get Vani, he'll let me in_  
_Sora open the door_  
_I'm worried ok_  
_I'm really worried_  
_Please at least tell me you're ok_  
_I know you're reading this, please answer_  
_Sora  
I'm worried_

_Sorry._

_I'm just glad you're ok. Don't scare us like that again_

_I'm sorry. Can you tell Rox too?_

_I'm sure he knows. But I'll tell him anyway_

_thanks_

_I hate looking at them together I hate it I hate it I hate it  
They say you should feel happy for them but I hate it _

_Sorry Sora, ven is out right now and he forgot his phone_  
_But I'm coming over and we'll do a sleepover with gaming and blanket forts_  
_I do not accept no as an answer_  
_Don't worry about snacks, I'll bring plenty_

_just the thought makes me feel better  
thanks rox!!!_

_Ven I heard about it from vani_  
_Are you ok?_  
_Do you need to talk to someone_  
_I'm here to listen!_

_I hate him so much_

_..do you really_

_Yes please never mention him in my presence ever again_

_Alright…_

_Can you tell Roxas to get read his messages sometimes???  
Ven?_

_Sorry. Yeah I'll tell him_

_Thanks! He never responds to any of them…_

_Hey are you going to Lea's party?_

_What party  
No one told me anything about a party_

_Whaaat_  
_I was talking about it with Rox just a few hours ago tho???  
Ven?_

_Sorry. I asked him about it  
Yeah we're coming_

_Nnice! Cant wait to see you guys_

_Rox_  
_Rox_  
_Red or black shirt_  
_Oh wrong number sorry ven!_

_Hey, we're in front of the door and Lea is not responding, can you let us in?_

_On my way!_

Sora did not know when he started crying, but his vision was blurry and the screen of his phone wet. He wiped it away with his sleeve. His finger hovered over the delete chat button, but in the end, whenever he thought about it all gone, his heart felt like it was ripped apart. To him, it was like reducing Ven from a person to a memory and he could not do it. He simply exited the chat and left his phone on his night table, the idea to text Roxas to apologize completely forgotten.

Sniffing, he buried his face into the pillows and closed his eyes, hoping all the pain would fade away soon.

He didn't remember falling asleep, but he woke up to the weight on his bed shifting and a hand softly pushing the bangs out of his face. Sora opened his eyes blearily.

"Hey little bro," Vanitas said softly. "I heard from Mom you were sick."

"Brother? What are you doing-" Sora coughed, his voice still hoarse. His brother soothingly rubbed his back, waiting patiently for Sora to feel better before answering his question.

"It was planned for me to visit today," he explained. "You have it marked red in your calendar and all. The sickness must've really gotten you down huh. Explains why you haven't texted or called me in forever at least."

Vanitas was brash. He was blunt, direct, rude. Aggressive and dangerous. Most people tended to stay away from him. But it was no secret to anyone who knew him and his little brother that Vanitas had a big soft spot for Sora. In fact, Sora had suffered a bit on the friend department as Vanitas had picked him up from school once when his parents were busy and his older brother had threatened to destroy each and every one of them should they make Sora sad in any way, which scared most of them so much they stayed away from him too. Sora was mad about it when he was little, but now he knew Vanitas just meant well and the people who had stuck with him had been friends for life, like Riku (but he has been distant lately) and Kairi (she has been avoiding him) and Naminé (Sora doesn't know what she's been up) and Xion (he had been friends with her because of Roxas, mostly) and Roxas (things were weird between them right now) and well, Ventus._ Though that one didn't quite hold for life, Sora thought bitterly._

"Let's watch some movies together," Vanitas suggested and Sora nodded, happy to get his mind off somehow. He was pretty sure Vanitas put on his favorite Disney movie on the new looking laptop he pulled out of his bag, but he was although he had been sleeping before Vanitas had arrived, he was tired. Next to the familiar warmth of his brother's body and the familiar drawl of his favorite movie, his eyes fell shut again. 

_ _\---_ _

_ _Vanitas leaving was a hard pill to swallow back then._ _

_ _Sora knew his graduation was coming up, but the thought that he would move away from the home they grew up together in had never crossed his mind. His brother had been such a constant presence in his life, when Vanitas first admitted to having found a job a little further away and having to move Sora was completely awestruck._ _

_ _If Sora took it badly, Ventus was devastated. Vanitas and he had a weird on-off relationship going on. They argued constantly and broke up, but somehow got back together next week every time. Sora didn't know what to think of their relationship. He wanted them both to be happy, which they made each other, no question, but they also hurt each other just as badly too often. Vanitas has cried more because of Ven than he did their entire childhood together. Those nights were really weird to Sora, seeing his rude and brash brother cry in his arms. He sometimes felt resentment towards Ven for making Vanitas hurt like this, but he couldn't stay mad, knowing from Roxas Ven was also hurting._ _

_"They're poison for each other,"_ Roxas had said once. Sora thought he was right. 

_ _The climax of their toxic relationship was when Vanitas told him he would move away. Ventus was ready to lead a long-distance relationship as long as they were able to visit each other, but Vanitas insisted on breaking it off. Their fight was so bad, even three months later Ventus would glare at someone who even dared to mention Vanitas in his presence. Vanitas, on the other hand, was very ready to talk about Ven over text and call, asking Sora how he was, what he was doing and all that. He did avoid asking Ventus directly though._ _

_ _His voice sounded wistful and regretful when they talked about Ven. Sora knew there was still some lingering feelings._ _

_"Our relationship was toxic- don't deny it Sora,"_ he had confessed after the bad break-up, lying on the bed with his brother, some Disney movie running in the background. 

_"We kept hurting each other. We kept lashing out. We didn't talk about it. We just kept getting back together and kissing and burying those feelings of hurt and… that's not how it should be. It's not a healthy relationship. I love him, but I want him to be happy. I... can't make him happy right now. So I thought it was best to break up. Maybe one day… I can get myself in order. And then love him and make him happy - in a healthy way. If he still wants me to, that is."_

_ _Vanitas had looked so hopeful when he admitted that. Of course, Ven didn't want to hear any of that. To him, Vanitas just played him until he got out of town with someone new. Not even Roxas could change his opinion on Vanitas. It broke Sora's heart, knowing how Vanitas felt, but unable to convey those feelings to Ventus._ _

_ _He had always hoped Vanitas could make his words from that day true. But…_ _

_ _"Where are you going?" Sora asked, rubbing his eyes and yawning as he rose. Vanitas, who was fully dressed and fixing his hair - a futile task - glanced back at him for a second, before staring at himself in the mirror again._ _

_ _"I'm going over to Ven's. I know we haven't been on best breaking up terms, but I feel like… I'm a better person now. Speaking to my therapist, finding other people to depend on than just Ven… it really helped me. So I was hoping I'd go to talk to him, explain why I did what I did and… ask for a second chance," he chuckled while fixing his collar. "...maybe it's more like a sixteenth chance. With how many times we broke up."_ _

_ _And Sora felt ice-cold dread creep into his veins. Vanitas didn't know yet. Nobody told him. Not mom, not dad. Not Sora. He hadn't even thought about telling his brother. He was way too deep into his own grief._ _

_ _"I'm going now. I'll tell you later how it went."_ _

_ _"No, wait!" Sora stumbled out of his bed and managed to cling to the fabric of his brother's jeans, stopping him from walking further out of the bedroom door. Vanitas turned back at him with a raised eyebrow._ _

_ _"What? Is there something I should know?"_ _

_ _Well if that didn't hit the nail on the head._ _

_ _"Is Ven still so angry I shouldn't try?" Vanitas asked._ _

_ _Sora was speechless. It was like all the words decided they wanted to stay in his throat and just pile up more and more until it felt ready to explode. It was getting harder to breathe as if the words were also blocking his windpipe. Sora thought maybe opening his mouth would help, but only useless noises and choking sounds escaped his lips, none of the words spilling out. _ _

_ _Vanitas is calling out for him frantically - or at least Sora thought he registered his brother's voice calling his name - and suddenly he's sitting upright instead of laying stomach down on the floor, familiar warm hands stabilizing him. One of them led his own hand to a chest, keeping it there with a soft grip._ _

_ _"Look, breathe with me, Sora. In ... and out." The chest rose and fell with the words, slow and steady. Sora tried his best to listen to the voice. He trusted the voice._ _

_ _"Don't worry, I'm right here." Soothing circles were rubbed into his back._ _

_ _"You're doing so well." Finally, Sora's vision cleared enough to see he was staring at Vanitas's face, eyebrows scrunched in worry and lips frowning._ _

_ _"Are you doing better?" He asked and wiped some tears from his brother's with a tissue he pulled out of nowhere. Sora didn't even notice he was crying._ _

_ _"I'm sorry," Sora whispered._ _

_ _"Don't be," Vanitas said with a soft voice. "Is there anything you want, you need? Hot cocoa? Blanket forts? Tons of marshmallows?"_ _

_ _"Stay," Sora asked. He felt bad when he saw a flicker of hesitation pass Vanitas's face._ _

_ _"Alright," his brother finally said after a second of silence and lifted Sora up to carry him back to the bed. As soon as they were back, Sora felt tired again and immediately snuggled up to his brother's warmth, letting his eyes slip closed again. A thought told him he had to tell Vanitas about Ven sooner or later, but he pushed the thought as far away as he could._ _

_ _\---_ _

_ _It took about one day and a half until Vanitas was dressed again, ready to go out. He thought his little brother was still asleep and he could sneak out to finally have that talk with Ven, but as soon as he heard sniffing from the bed, he stopped getting ready and sat down next to Sora in bed._ _

_ _"What's wrong, little brother?" Vanitas asked, worry lacing his words as he used his hands to comb through Sora's hair. Sora buried his face into the pillow, avoiding Vanitas's face._ _

_ _A few silent minutes passed where Vanitas only used soft touches to calm his brother down._ _

_ _"There's something you should know," Sora whispered after a while, speaking into his pillow so Vanitas had to strain his ears to hear._ _

_ _"Ven is ...he's. He's not with us anymore."_ _

_ _Vanitas froze his movements. What did Sora mean? Did he move? _ _

_ _"I... I was drinking and he and Roxas were on the balcony and, and, he…" Sora shook his head, face still pressed into the pillow._ _

_ _"He jumped."_ _

_ _Vanitas had never shot up so fast in his life. Forgotten was his worry for his little brother. He just stood there staring at nothing in particular. Shocked expression on his face, eyes wide, lips parted, every muscle of his body tense._ _

_ _"No," he whispered._ _

_ _"I'm sorry," Sora wailed._ _

_ _"No," Vanitas just repeated._ _

_ _His legs were moving before he knew it. He rumbled down the stairs to be met with their mother, preparing some kind of baked sweets. She rose an eyebrow at his flushed face._ _

_ _"What are you up to, sweetheart? Sora finally letting you out of his grasp?"_ _

_ _"Ven's…" Vanitas barely got out with his weakened voice. Everything was spinning in his head. Nothing made sense._ _

_ _Immediately, he saw the expression of his mother turn. Instead of looking at him teasingly like she did just a second ago, her face hardened and her lips formed a frown. Unending sadness reflected in her blue eyes._ _

_ _"Oh, my poor sweetie." Vanitas found himself embraced by their mother. He had no clue how it had even happened. _ _

_ _"You didn't know. I'm so, so sorry, Vani. We should've told you. You two were so close. Sweetheart, Ventus is-"_ _

_ _"No," Vanitas said one last time, voice weak._ _

_ _\---_ _

_ _It has been about two days ever since Sora told Vanitas the truth. Vanitas had locked himself into his own room and refused to leave it. He claimed he wasn't hungry. He wanted to be left alone. He didn't want to do whatever with them. Their entire family was worried. Their father had been ready to break down the door when Vanitas didn't respond to any of them, but it turned out he was just asleep and very angry too._ _

_"Don't you dare break this door!"_ He had yelled. _"I'm fine! I swear just leave me alone!"_

_ _Sora knocked at his door almost daily to talk. The answers he for were scarce and sometimes he got no answer at all, but he just kept on trying._ _

_ _"Vanitas, let's watch movies together," he said. His voice was tinted with a hint of despair. He didn't want to lose his brother._ _

_ _"Please. You… you don't need to do anything. Please just sit next to me. I want to… spend time with you."_ _

_ _No answer. Sora sniffed, feeling tears welling up in his eyes. "Please Vani. Please…"_ _

_ _He didn't even notice the presence being him until a looming dark shadow was cast over his sitting frame. Sora looked up in shock._ _

_ _Blonde hair, soft blue eyes, the familiar curve of lips Sora had seen so often already-_ _

_ _"Roxas?" Sora asked. "What are you doing here?"_ _

_ _"I brought you school stuff. You've been missing school for almost a week and a half now," Roxas said with a shrug. "Where do you want me to dump all of the stuff?"_ _

_ _"My room," Sora sighed and got up to leave for his own room with a last glance at his brother's unmoving door._ _

_ _Roxas followed him. As soon as they entered, he dumped all of the paper on Sora's table. "I didn't know Vanitas was back," he said, voice sounding bored and nonchalant. There was some underlying tone that Sora couldn't place, however. It was almost like… his voice was shaking?_ _

_ _"He has been back for a while," Sora murmured. Looking at the pile of work made him sick. He didn't want to do it._ _

_ _"What's going on with him?" Roxas asked._ _

_ _Sora swallowed, looking for the right words to say. He felt his breath speeding up again. Trying to imagine Vanitas talking him down, he took a deep breath._ _

_ _"He's… upset. About. Ven. Not being… with us anymore." Sora managed finally, watching carefully for a reaction from Roxas. His friend's face was awfully blank and for a second Sora thought he messed up and Roxas was going to fall apart again-_ _

_ _"I see," Roxas said, staring out of the window, looking thoughtful. Sora let out a sigh of relief in his mind._ _

_ _"Look Sora. I'll help you with the stuff. C'mon." Sora looked at Roxas with pleading eyes._ _

_ _"C'mon," Roxas just repeated with an eye-roll._ _

_ _\---_ _

_ _Sora woke up with an aching back and a blanket draped over his shoulders. _ _

_You fell asleep yesterday while we were studying. I'll be back some other time so we can do it. -Roxas_

_ _Sora sighed and looked over his table, full of math homework and math homework only. It's as if Roxas knew maths was his weakness. He wasn't that great in maths before and the break did not help him in any way._ _

_ _Yawning and stretching, he made his way downstairs. Golden glinting eyes stared at him. Vanitas put another spoon of cereal in his mouth. Sora screamed a little._ _

_ _"Jeez, Vani! Don't spook me like this!"_ _

_ _Just a second later he realized what he was seeing. _ _

_ _"Vani you're outside!" Immediately he engulfed his brother in a bear hug._ _

_ _"Sora, don't make me drop my cereal," was Vanitas's deadpan answer._ _

_ _"I'm so happy." Vanitas sighed and ran his hand through his brother's hair, smiling a bit._ _

_ _"I'm sorry for worrying everyone."_ _

_ _Sora hugged him harder._ _

_ _\---_ _

_ _It was weird, Sora mused._ _

_ _Vanitas quit his job and moved back to their parents' house. He found a new job closer and worked there now, paying their parents rent even if they refused to take it._ _

_ _Considering how shaken Vanitas was with Ven's death, he seemed happy lately, especially if Roxas was over. Sora did not want to draw the obvious conclusion here. He refused to._ _

_ _Yet, his worst fears were confirmed when he caught them kissing very passionately on the couch when he came home from school once._ _

_ _"Um," he ground out, his voice shaking, as they didn't notice him coming in. As soon as the noise was uttered, they jumped apart, faces flushed._ _

_ _"Hey Sora," Roxas stammered, standing up so swiftly Sora was barely able to make out the movement. "I guess that's my cue to leave. Oh, see you guys!"_ _

_ _And then he was gone, slamming the front door closed, leaving the brothers to stare at each other in silence._ _

_ _"Vanitas…" Sora started, wringing his fingers in a nervous manner. His brother glared at him._ _

_ _"I know what you're going to say, so save it Sora," Vanitas said, his voice cold and sharp like ice shards. Sora flinched and sunk deeper into himself._ _

_ _"He's… he's not Ventus," he tried anyway. Vanitas's eyes narrowed. Never in his life had Sora thought the golden eyes Vanitas inherited from their father were scary… up until now, where they almost glowed with intensity in the semi-dark living room. If Vanitas was glaring before, he was positively snarling now._ _

_ _"It's none of your business," Vanitas barked out and began to move away, presumably to his room. Sora reached for his brother's arm in panic. _ _

_ _"But I'm worried!" He said, voice shaking. "You're not only hurting Roxas if this continues, but you will also hurt yourself as well!"_ _

_ _Vanitas stayed silent for a second and Sora thought he had seen reason, but then his brother yanked his arm away from him in an almost violent manner, a glare still on his face._ _

_ _"We're going to be fine. You just don't understand, Sora. Stay out of this." _ _

_ _And he left._ _

_ _\---_ _

_ _Sora couldn't make Vanitas understand, no matter how hard he tried. In fact, his older brother was starting to give him the cold shoulder. Sora's heart contracted in pain every time Vanitas refused to do anything with him, even ignoring him starting conversations and asking questions. He was back home but felt further away than ever. The brother he was so close to was a figure in the distance._ _

_ _Sora knew it was because of what he said about his relationship with Roxas, but he also knew he had to do something. Both of them were going to be hurt if that continued. He couldn't reach Vanitas, but maybe he could make Roxas see reason._ _

_ _Catching Roxas alone was hard. Their friends liked to be with him all the time, worried. Roxas didn't protest against that - which Sora thought to be a little weird, but he thought it was because, with Ven gone, he felt lonely. If they weren't with their friends, Roxas was usually with Vanitas. And Sora did not want to talk to Roxas while Vanitas was close by, scared of how his big brother will react._ _

_ _Eventually, he did manage to catch Roxas walking home alone, everyone busy it seemed. Xion had planned to cancel whatever she had been doing to walk home with Roxas, but Sora butted in and said he'd do it. _ _

_ _"Thanks," she had said. "Get home safely you two!"_ _

_ _So now they were walking home, Roxas talking about trivial things with mild enthusiasm, gesturing with his hands. Sora was silent, not knowing what to say or how to say it. Maybe he should've thought it through more carefully. Vanitas was mad about it, what if Roxas would also be angry? What if he started ignoring him as Vanitas did?_ _

_ _"Sora, are you okay?" Roxas worried voice made him jump out of his thoughts, head-turning as if someone punched him to face his friend. _ _

_ _Roxas gave him an encouraging smile. "You can tell me anything."_ _

_ _It was now it never. _ _

_ _"Vani…" Sora struggled to get out. "Vani only loves Ven…! He can't forget about him and… Ven means the world to him, so that's why-"_ _

_ _Sora stopped when he saw the expression on Roxas's face. It felt surreal._ _

_ _Roxas was blushing slightly, cheeks and the tip of his ears tinted in red. His blue eyes were widened a little and his mouth curved in a wide smile, his white teeth shining in the light._ _

_ _"Really?" He asked with almost childlike glee._ _

He looked… _happy._

_ _\---_ _

_ _Sora didn't understand a thing. Interactions with Roxas had never felt this weird to him. Sora didn't know if it was him or Roxas, but everything his friend does felt wrong. Like he wasn't supposed to do that._ _

_ _Nobody else seemed to share his sentiment, and he kept getting weird glances from Xion and Naminé. He was also pretty sure Riku and Kairi avoided him. He didn't know why, but he felt ready to cry every time he thought about it._ _

_ _Having nobody to turn to, his feet had carried him to Ventus's grave before he knew it. Now, he was standing in front of the simple stone, engraved with the letters _ _

_"Ventus Wayward-Wind"_

_ _And the year he was born as the year he died._ _

_ _It was impersonal, lacking anything else that would make this grave distinct from the others. For some reason, it made Sora so sad._ _

_ _His arms feeling empty, he kept wringing them as he tried to come up with anything to say._ _

_ _"Hello Ven," he finally settled on. Again, he took a short break to collect himself._ _

_ _"I'm sorry I haven't been visiting. I don't really have any excuse too. I'm just… sorry. Will you listen to me anyway?"_ _

_ _There was no answer. Of course not._ _

_ _"I miss you Ven. Things haven't been the same without you. Vanitas is cold to me, things with Roxas are so weird and I don't even know what the others are doing," Sora sniffed. His knees felt weak, so he sat down in front of the grave, pulling his knees as physically close to his chest as possible._ _

_ _"Everyone is avoiding me. I think they think I'm going crazy. Maybe they're right."_ _

_ _He wiped the tears that spilled from his eyes._ _

_ _"I miss you so much Ven. You were always there for me. You always helped me feel better when I felt bad. I was always able to tell you anything."_ _

_ _A distant memory flooded his mind, walking home with Ventus, him glancing at Sora with a worried gaze… no._ _

_ _"Huh?" Sora said, standing up in his confused daze._ _

_ _"Stupid Sora. That was Rox...as…"_ _

_ _He trailed his sentence of._ _

_ _And then it hit him._ _

_"You can always tell me anything. I'll always be your ally!" Ventus said. Roxas next to him rolled his eyes._

_"Just admit you like Riku. Even though I cannot fathom why him."_

_"Roxas!" Ven whined. "He was supposed to admit it on his own!"_

_"I think Fall is the best season!" Ventus said, moving his hands in wild gestures. "You get beautiful scenery with the leaves, the wind is amazing to kite, you get yum apples!"_

_Roxas kept his hands in his pockets. "I like summer better. Better weather."_

_"I'll help you with your homework," Ventus offered. Sora groaned, burying his face into his bed._

_"No more! No more maths!" Roxas next to him joined in on the chorus._

_"C'mon guys!" Ventus grinned._

_"You and your stupid math obsession! Why don't you like something more cool Ven?" Roxas complained, flipping his hair back in position with a casual head shake._

_"Naminé and Xion only talk to Rox when we hang out," Ven admitted, staring at Sora's ceiling. "And he doesn't even give them as much as a glance! He always looks so bored and doesn't interact with them at all!"_

_Ventus shook his head and sighed. "I don't even know why it's bothering me so much. Thanks for listening anyway. I don't have anyone else to talk to if I have problems with Rox… now that Aqua and Terra are so far away. And the others... I'm not actually that close to them. I'm mostly friends with them because you or Rox are friends with them." _

_"You always stare at Roxas!" _

_Sora was scared to enter Vanitas's room. The screaming has been getting louder and louder and he was slightly scared that Vanitas or Ventus would hurt the other. It wouldn't be the first time something like that happened._

_"I DON'T!" Vanitas screeched from the other side of the door._

_"I saw you! Am I just a substitute or what? Cause you can't have the real deal, huh?"_

_"You are a fucking idiot if you think that's true Ventus!"_

_"Oh, you're back to using my full name! No more nicknames now that I have figured you out!"_

_Sora heard something breaking. He flinched and his hand hovered over the door handle._

_"I can't believe this! Don't you have any faith in me?" Vanitas asked, voice shaking with anger._

_"You wouldn't be the first one who only got close to me because of my brother!" Ventus countered back._

_"Oh my God. Look Ven, I don't know how to make you believe that what you're spouting right now is UTTER BULLSHIT!" Another crash. A scream. With new determination and yet shaky hands, Sora threw the door open._

_Vanitas laid on the ground, hand on his head and groaning. The snow globe that Ventus had gifted him in secret on some Christmas was shattered on the floor, fluid soaking the carpet. Ven just stared at the scene with wide eyes and rigid posture, like he couldn't understand what happened._

_It was when Vanitas sat up and stared at his hand soaked in red he snapped out of it. "You're bleeding," he whispered, taking a step towards his boyfriend._

_"Don't come any closer!" Vanitas screamed, making him flinch back. "Leave! Leave! Go the fuck away! I don't want to see you anymore!"_

_Ventus fled the scene, leaving Sora to deal with his injured brother._

_"I don't get why everyone thinks Rox is so cool. Am I not cool Sora?"_

_Sora chuckled. "You're very cool Ven. Veryyy."_

_"Why did you sound so sarcastic?"_

_"Oh, I dunno. You are nice, get good grades, and hide behind books all the time. That's not how to be cool, Ven!"_

_Ven frowned. "I wanna be cool."_

_"You don't need to be cool!" Sora exclaimed. "You're awesome in your own kind of way! I like you because you're nice and shy and all that!"_

_Ven looked a little happier. "Thanks, Sora," he said, using his fingers to fix his hair to the side-_

_ _"Oh," Sora said._ _

_ _Oh._ _

_ _\---_ _

_"I hate you."_

_"What..?"_

_"I hate you. I hate you more than anything in the world."_

_"I don't understand…"_

_"I hate you! I HATE YOU!"_

_"Wha…! Stop! You're… I'm gonna fall! Stop-"_

_"I HATE YOU VENTUS! I WISH YOU'D DIE! I HATE YOU!"_

_ _\---_ _

_ _No matter how much he tried, Sora couldn't wring the thought out of his head. Was Ventus the twin that was still alive and Roxas the one that died? But everyone… how did everyone know which one died again…_ _

_ _Because the twin that survived had told everyone that Ven jumped. Sora doesn't think anyone checked twice or anything like that._ _

_ _Suddenly, all of the pieces for together._ _

Roxas's _weird_ behavior. His relationship with Vanitas. His sudden change in attitude towards friends. 

_ _He acted like Ventus._ _

_ _So that meant… maybe…_ _

_ _"Is Ven alive? Did Roxas...die?" Sora questioned, completely immersed into his line of thought. He didn't even notice the presence of a second person until he heard the door to his room click shut._ _

_ _His head turned and sea blue eyes met glowing golden eyes._ _

_ _"Vani?" Sora asked. He looked at his brother nervously, who didn't move an inch, just standing in front of the door._ _

_ _"What did you say?" He asked._ _

_ _Sora flinched at his tone. It was freezing. Threatening. Sora was not used to being the recipient of that tone of Vanitas._ _

_ _"Uhm, well, i-"_ _

_ _"You said Ven was alive and Roxas was the one who died."_ _

_ _It was almost as if Vanitas's voice was able to turn all of Sora's blood ice cold. Shivers ran over his spine and he backed away from Vanitas on instinct. He didn't even know why he was this scared of his brother. There was just something telling him to get the hell out. Alarm bells ringing in his head. He glanced at his window, but it was shut. No way he can open it without Vanitas stopping him in time._ _

_ _"How did you know?" Vanitas asked. The shrill tone in Sora's head got louder and louder._ _

_ _"I… I didn't…"_ _

_ _Vanitas started approaching him. Sora curled even more into himself. As far away from his brother with every limb and fiber of his body._ _

_ _"You know." Anything to avoid Vanitas's eyes. His glinting, threatening eyes. His awfully blank gaze. His carefully masked face._ _

_ _"I can't have you know."_ _

_ _Sora whimpered. Fear was paralyzing his body. The noise in his head was so loud. Even when closing his eyes, he could feel Vanitas's golden orbs searching him. Looking into his very soul._ _

_ _"Ven is finally happy. I can't have you ruin that."_ _

_ _"Please…" Sora begged. For what, he wasn't sure himself. "I won't tell anyone. Please, Vani. I won't tell anyone, I promise!"_ _

_ _A sigh. He sounded so much closer than before._ _

_ _"You know Sora, I can't believe that. You'll somehow blab it out with your big mouth. That's how it's always has been. Remember the secret Ven told you with the clear request to not tell anyone…? The next day everyone knew."_ _

_ _"I promise…!" Sora pleaded one last time before Vanitas's cold fingers touched his skin - softly at first, but then they seized his waist in a strong hold and threw him on the ground. Sora gasped as his back hit the floor, dull pain pulsing in it. He tried to sit up, but a weight settled over his stomach and his brother's cold fingers once again found their way to his skin, this time to his throat, nails scraping over his pulse. They closed around his neck, thumbs pressing down to cut off his windpipe. Sora scratched at his brother's arms in panic, finally opening his eyes to stare at Vanitas's stone-cold face. _ _

_ _"No… Please!"_ _

_ _He felt his tears and snot running down his face. He didn't know when exactly it started._ _

_ _"Big brother! Please don't… Big Brother Vani…!"_ _

_ _For a moment, Sora saw hesitation flick across Vanitas's face. But as soon as it came, it was gone, Vanitas's gaze hardened again._ _

_ _"He's finally happy," Vanitas whispered. "I can't have you ruin it."_ _

_ _The pressure on his throat did not let up. Vanitas pressed down even harder. It was getting difficult to breathe. The ringing in his ears was unbearable. He kept scratching Vanitas's arms in a futile task. He tried speaking, but nothing but gasps and coughs left his mouth. In his mind, he pleaded for anyone to come to save him. _ _

_ _Black spots danced across his vision as he thought about how Riku would slam the door open and save him._ _

_ _His arms fell limply onto the side when he thought about Naminé calling the police._ _

_ _His mouth opened and closed without releasing any sounds when he thought about  
Xion trying her best to push Vanitas off him with no success._ _

_ _His eyes closed when he thought about Kairi and Axel and Isa and Aqua and Terra and-_ _

_ _\---_ _

_Vanitas sighed as he opened the door. He checked the corridor, hoping for the absence of his parents. They were pretty much helicoptering him right now with their worry. _

_It was clear. The hallway was empty._

_He really should apologize to Sora. A movie together didn't sound bad and he needed to get his mind off anyway. Plus he would stop making Sora worried and sick. _

_It was late, so Roxas probably already left - Vanitas couldn't deal with meeting him anyway right now. Not with Ventus… dead._

_He was wrong. _

_He tiptoed out of the bed room and was met with a blond, a familiar curve of lips on his face, the same blue eyes he loved so much-_

_"You're alive," Vanitas whispered, staring at Ventus in wonder._

_Ventus tilted his head to the side._

_"You're alive!" Vanitas repeated, striding over to the blond with fast steps. Stopping in front of him, he cupped their face with his hands. _

_A relieved smile spread on Vanitas's face. "Ventus… I missed you."_

**Author's Note:**

> Should I add different perspectives to this?


End file.
